jueves, 6 de noviembre de 2008

Aclaración

Aun sin saberle poner nombre, siempre me ha fascinado el acto comunicativo. Cuando era pequeña, uno de mis juegos favoritos era aquel en el que una primera persona le contaba algo al oído a una segunda, esta a su vez a una tercera y así sucesivamente. Me encantaba comprobar cómo el mensaje original llegaba completamente irreconocible al final, más distorsionado cuanto más larga era la fila de participantes. En teatro hemos hecho actividades basadas en el mismo principio, y nunca deja de sorprenderme cómo muchas veces oímos lo que queremos oír y a eso, además, le añadimos lo que nos parece para que la realidad no nos estropee una buena historia.

Al abrir el blog, una de mis pretensiones fundamentales era que lo que me pasaba llegara a la gente que pudiera estar interesada de forma completamente fiable, sin intermediarios y de primera mano. Justamente porque sé cómo funciona el proceso de transmisión del mensaje, quería que las novedades salieran de mí, para evitar especulaciones y, sobre todo, inexactitudes.

Pues bien, el proceso comunicativo tiene vida propia y, al final, acaba sorprendiendo. ¿Por qué cuento esto? Pues porque hoy he ido al instituto y una de mis compañeras de departamento –que no quiere entrar en el blog por una razón muy concreta y respetable- me ha dicho que una amiga común la ha llamado esta semana muy preocupada por mí, porque la madre de un alumno le ha dicho que ella ha leído aquí que tengo metástasis. ¡Uf! Mi compañera estaba preocupada, aunque tampoco le cuadraba mucho lo que le decían ni con mi aspecto ni con lo que yo le voy contando en persona cuando nos vemos.

Para que no quede duda, y para evitar que el mensaje llegue al final de la fila sin corresponderse con la realidad, lo diré bien claro: no tengo metástasis. Lo conté en su momento, y es muy posible que no me explicara bien y que por eso se haya ido diciendo algo que no era cierto. Hablando en sentido médicamente estricto, tuve metástasis en algunos ganglios, pero ahora estoy limpia como una patena. Es muy normal que el cáncer de mama alcance los ganglios de la axila, que es lo que a mí me pasó. Eso, que también se le llama metástasis, no alcanza ni siquiera la categoría de tumor pequeño. Sólo significa que algunos ganglios tienen algunas células cancerosas. Yo sólo tenía contaminados el centinela (donde drena el tumor) y los tres primeros de los doce que me quitaron en la axila. Cuando le pregunté a El Hombre Que Nunca Sonríe si era posible que las células cancerígenas se saltaran esos ganglios limpios que me quitaron y fueran a los que me quedaban más allá, me dijo que la posibilidad era remotísima. En resumen, después de haberme quitado el tumor y del vaciamiento axilar no tenía –y no tengo- ningún rastro detectable de cáncer en mi cuerpo. Obviamente, siempre puede haber alguna célula rebelde, sola y perdida por ahí, y para acabar con ella me ponen la quimioterapia, sólo por si acaso.

Hoy no quería hablar de esto. Tenía preparada otra entrada, que tendrá que esperar. De verdad de la buena: no tengo metástasis y estoy como una rosa. Tanto que mañana me voy a la feria Nupcial a maquillar y a asesorar a las novias que cometan la temeridad de ponerse en manos de una alumna tan inexperta como yo. Pobrecillas. Casi, casi les voy a recomendar que no se casen. Así todas nos ahorramos sufrimientos.

81 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Si la verdad,desgraciadamente,en
la mayoria de los casos lo del boca
a boca,no te puedes fiar ni un pelo,y ademas a la gente,tampoco
no se sabe muy bien porque,le encanta comentar las malas noticias,muchisimo mas que las buenas.Sera por lo de consuelo de
muchos consuelo de tontos,y es asi
en todos los aspectos de la vida.
Lo importante es que estas bien,
y como dice una amiga mia,que hablen de mi aunque sea mal,señal
que sigo ahi.
un abrazo.
Madre ex alumnos.

Anónimo dijo...

hola maria antonia
A mi me acaban de operar tambien de otro tipo de cancer y me van a dar radioterapia "preventiva" por lo mismo que a ti, por si remotamente hubiera alguna celula que se hubiera escapado.
En todo caso, las posibilidades son infimas.
tenercancercon30.blogspot.com

Pepe dijo...

Quiero ver fotos de la feria nupcial, no te olvides llevar la cámara :-)

Anónimo dijo...

Prima, no iba a escribir porque me toca trabajar de noche y me iba ya, pero, por favor, maquilla a todas esas pobres, a todas las que puedas sin confesar que aún no tienes mucha experiencia. ¡Haz mano por el amor de Dios! Igual tengo que echar mano de tus dotes. Tu ensaya mucho.
Un besote.
Esther
P.D: si yo te contara lo del boca a boca... las comidillas del hospital son increíbles, ya veo que en todos los sitios es igual. Lo del teléfono estropeado es universal

Xisco dijo...

Hola Toñi!!!!

Me alegro de que ya te quede poco!!!!

No sé como la gente se puede liar de esta forma...Yo desde que me leí todo el blog me enteré de que no tenias metástasis. Con el ganglio centinela positivo, pero con el vaciamiento ganglionar se encontraron pocos afectados. Y sí, es remotísimo que puedan saltarse los ganglios sanos...

Buenu...pues ya queda poco para acabar con esto...y luego esto será un tema para, únicamente recordar que pasó.
Por cierto...me puedes escribir otra vez la quimio que te ponen ahora...es k me interesan los nombres para comparar con lo que nos han explicado en clase. Quimioterapia adyuvante se llama...jejje

Buenu..nada más...que me alegro mucho de que esto ya termine...

Un beso

Rieke Bootsmann dijo...

Hola Toñi,

tengo que confesarte algo:
(ejem, ejem)
no me acabé ninguno de los libros que mandaste el año pasado, a pesar de que en la guía felicitara a los autores de Los Hijos del Trueno por haberlo conseguido. Fue creible pero, ¿no?. (No me mates)
Y ahora estoy apunto de acabarme Nocturn a quatre mans, ¡pero es de catalán!, ¡yo quería que el primero fuese de castellano!. Creo que dejaré una página sin leer, la última. De esta forma el libro que me lea entero será veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada.

Un besazo,
Rieke

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Madre de ex alumnos,

Es verdad que a la gente le gusta hablar, y eso se nota más cuando una viene a vivir a un pueblo después de haber vivido en una ciudad. Al principio me sorprendía bastante; ahora estoy medio acostumbrada y la verdad es que no me molesta mucho, porque no hago mucho caso de lo que dicen de mí, sobre todo porque ni la mitad de las cosas son verdaderas.

Eso sí, vivir en un pueblo tiene muchísimas más ventajas que ese que, para mí, es solo un pequeño inconveniente.

Otro abrazo para ti y para tus hijos (a ver si alguna vez te decides a decirme quiénes son)

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Anónimo,

Bienvenido (o bienvenida) al blog.

Las posibilidades son tan ínfimas que ni me las planteo. Además, con la de controles a las que nos van a someter cuando acabemos con la radio, mi teoría es que podremos estar más tranquilos que mucha gente, que a lo mejor tiene algo y no lo sabe.

Un abrazo y mucha fuerza para tu tratamiento

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Pepe,

¡Tú eres muy, muy malo! Yo también me quiero ver allí, va a ser total. ¡Si me vieran mis profesores de la universidad y algunos de mis alumnos alucinarían tanto como yo misma!

Besazos.

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Prima,

Estoy relativamente tranquila porque por allí van a estar nuestras profesoras corrigiendo todo lo que hagamos mal. Aun así, llevamos dos semanas con maquillajes nupciales y algo he practicado. Claro, con compañeras mías de veinte años con un cutis estupendo. El problema será que vendrán novias de 40 y 50 años que reinciden en eso del casamiento y ya veremos cómo salimos del apuro.

En todo caso, el año pasado las alumnas también fueron después de un mes y medio de haber empezado las clases, y fue un éxito. La gente sale muy contenta, sobre todo si le aconsejas gratis y le pones un poco de cosmética con algo de cuidado y de gusto.

Voy a ir a pasármelo bien, voy a practicar y sobre todo a aprender. Si lo que me enseñen después te sirve de algo, mucho mejor.

Abrazos.

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

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Estoy mirando cómo puedo colgar ese power point tan estupendo que me mandaste, porque creo que puede ser muy interesante para muchas personas que se pasan por el blog.

Me voy a estudiar, que esta tarde, antes de la feria de novias, tengo un examen de comunicación e imagen. Qué dura y estresante es la vida de estudiante. Ya no me acordaba.

Un abrazo

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Rieke,

¡Pues tú te lo has perdido! Leer es un placer enorme. El día que descubras "el" libro, ese libro que te va a abrir la puerta, no lo querrás dejar.

Acábate el libro de catalán; ni se te ocurra dejar la última página. No me consideraré engañada con otra.

Un beso.

Masca dijo...

Hola Toñi:
El boca a boca es, lamentablemente, algo que no se puede evitar. Por las mismas razones que tu explicas en la entrada, yo también opté a ser muy sincera con mi entorno, no camuflar nada y decir todo lo que consideraba imprescindible decir, para acallar rumores y para quitarle el "tabú" que sigue teniendo el tema del cáncer en nuestra sociedad.
Aún así - y esto (considero yo) es peor que la información errónea que llega al final de la cadena del "teléfono anónimo" - una siempre se encontrará con personas que creen saberlo todo, que creen que tienen que darte explicaciones o recomendaciones sobre lo que estás haciendo bien o mal, aún cuando realmente no tienen ni idea del tema ni jamás se han encontrado en nuestra situación. Una noticia errónea, como p. ej. lo de que presuntamente tienes metástasis, gracias a Dios, se puede aclarar y desmentir. Pero desde que sé que hay (pocas, pero las hay) personas que creen tener derecho de opinar sobre tus sentimientos, o creen tener que influenciar en tus decisiones, me he vuelto muy cuidadosa con el tema y vigilo con quién hablo de qué y cuánto. De ahí también mi anonimato en mi blog.
Espero que nunca te encuentres con personas así, que no tienen ni tacto ni humanidad, que no hagas nunca experiencias como las he hecho yo (pocas, pero no menos dolorosas por esto).
Un abrazo
Masca

todoesprovisional dijo...

hola maria antonia, soy la chica que escribi diciendo que me tienen que dar ahora radio.
Yo tampoco me planteo la posibilidad de que una celula maligna se haya escapado,porque si no, no podria vivir.
Me diagnosticaron un cancer de endometrio, que es totalmente atipico a mi edad.
A ti te han hablado de hacerte un estudio de riesgo oncologico?
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Anónimo dijo...

Hola,firmo asi,porque no nos conocemos,mis hijos son Cata y Joan
Ballester,ellos tambien entran en
tu blog,y creo han escrito.

Sabela dijo...

Va de comunicación, o mejor dicho, de la no comunicación. Soy una experta. Tengo una teoría relacionada con el mundo de los sueños y las subjetividades dentro de la propia subjetividad. Me explico: a la hora de soñar somos personales e intransferibles, por eso salen a pasear, aprovechando nuestra bajada de atención, obsesiones y más obsesiones en forma de historia, escena repetida ad anuseam, colores y sonidos, con uno mismo como protagonista, o con uno mismo como foco que capta la escena-película-color en movimiento-sonido estridente. Hay pasillos, caídas, ascensiones, escaleras, animales varios que nos acompañan o en los que nos transformamos, o transformamos en ellos a alguien, selvas tropìcales y ciudades vacías... Podría seguir. Lo mismo sucede con la percepción en los elementos comunicativos. Mientras el emisor codifica y elabora su mensaje, y lo dota de los requisitos precisos para ser decodificado sin problema, interpreta que el receptor estará en posesión de las armas metodológicas necesarias para una correcta y rigurosa decodificación. Pero hete aquí, queridos contertulios, que ese receptor está emocionalmente en las antípodas aunque racionalmente esté preparado. Ya tenemos el cóctel de la mala recepción servido con hielo y una pizca de limón. Arregla luego eso, corazón. Arréglalo.

En tú caso ya lo has tenido claro desde el principio. Tú eres la fuente primera de información, de ti sale todo, así que los receptores sólo debemos esperar, recibir, interpretar y emitir nuestra propia comunicación, o no, de la que tú eres, entonces, receptora (viva el esquema de Jakobson). Todo lo demás es música de violines al atardecer, o sea, elementos emotivos servidos en bandeja en el marco adecuado de la subjetividad. Lamento que hayas tenido que escribir esta entrada para dejar claro algo que en su día te sumió en un estado de incertidumbre que muchos de los que escribimos no podemos ni concebir. Y creo que "incertidumbre" no llega ni de lejos al cúmulo de sensaciones y emociones que te asaltó ese o esos días. No, gracias a Dios, o a Alá, o a Buda, o a las energías sinérgicas, o al sursum corda, o a ti misma, qué demonios, no tienes metástasis. ¿Ha quedado claro? Como le digo a mi madre, ni cáncer, que se quedó en un laboratorio antes del verano. Lo de ahora es convencer a tu cuerpo de que ése no es ni de lejos un buen camino de desarrollo personal.

No sé a la cantidad de gente que he perdido en este mundo por incomprensiones fruto de una mala decodificación interpretativa. Quien leyó "metástasis" en tus entradas anteriores lo elevó a nivel único de tu enfermedad. A lo mejor esta persona sueña monstruos que la persiguen. Seamos rigurosos en un tema tan intenso. Por lo menos llamémosle intenso (hoy no encuentro adjetivos precisos, ¡qué le vamos a hacer!). Yo sueño historias, llenas de personajes a los que les pasan cosas, en marcos reconocibles o creados, en blanco y negro o en color. A veces soy la cámara que enfoca, a veces camino por ahí. Es la explicación del género narrativo que corre por mis venas. Mejor para estos casos que la lírica, que amplifica emociones desde la subjetividad. ¿No, corazón? Aquí seamos narrativos, que esta historia llena de ti va teniendo ya escrito el final.

Un beso fuertefuerte, niña guapa.
Sabela

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Masca,

Estoy completamente de acuerdo contigo en que hay mucha gente que se cree capacitada para dar consejos. Y eso no sólo pasa con el cáncer: muchas personas opinan sobre cualquier cosa sin tener ni idea. Yo hago como que escucho y después hago poco caso. Al final, los que saben son los médicos y como he decidido fiarme de ellos a ellos hago caso.

Por suerte, las personas que me importan poco no tienen capacidad de hacerme daño. No sé si es el cáncer, la edad o la inteligencia emocial que intento llevar a la práctica, pero es así.

He entrado en tu página y te he notado un poco baja de moral. Ojalá pudiera decir algo para que te sintieras mejor y que no sonara a tópico ni a banalidad. Te mando un abrazo, muchos ánimos y toda la energía positiva de que soy capaz.

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Todoesprovisional:

Efectivamente, ni tienes cáncer, ni tienes metástasis. Sí que te vas a morir (es la única certeza que todos tenemos en esta vida), pero no pronto pero ni de esto. Es durísimo lo que has pasado a los 30 años; estoy convencida de que eso te va a dar una madurez que te va a ayudar a disfrutar de lo bueno que te va a venir mucho más que en otras circunstancias.

No me han propuesto el estudio de riesgo oncológico. Le preguntaré a mi doctora sobre ello.

Mucha fuerza. Un beso grande.

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Madre de alumnos,

Es verdad que no nos conocemos. Naturalmente recuerdo muy bien a Cata y a Joan, y sé que entran en el blog. Con Cata me lo pasé muy bien en clase y a Joan le debo momentos memorables.

Un beso para los dos y otro, claro, para ti.

María Antonia Valdivielso dijo...

Sabela, guapa

Tienen razón los modernos teóricos de la educación: se había tenido olvidado el elemento más importante, el receptor. Al final, lo que uno emite no es tan decisivo como lo que uno recibe. Yo añadiría que muchas veces uno solo entiende lo que quiere entender y la cosa se complica aún más.

Algún día te contaré las cosas tan extrañas que estoy soñando estos días. Curiosamente, ni una vez recuerdo haber soñado nada que tenga que ver con el cáncer. O mi subconsciente todavía no lo ha procesado o cuando me despierto mi mente lo borra.

Cuídate, guapa. Besos.

Anónimo dijo...

Hola toñi!!!
Que tal todo por Pollença?
la feria me han dicho que como cada año, te molestan demasiado?jaja!!!

Mi hermana y yo no vivimos juntas, pues ella está en Palma, y yo en Barcelona!pero a pesar de la distáncia estamos muy unidas, es genial!!!

espero tengas un buen fin de semana!!!
hasta pronto!!!
besitos!!!
cuidate mucho!

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